Monday, December 3, 2007

And thus spake Ms.Seusstry

Yes my Marketing Prof. Has coined the term Ms.Seusstry for me- a combination of Dr.Seuss and an Indian name Shastry. So I thought I would make the name official with this post. This was my first attempt at writing something. So when I win that literary prize in the future (wink wink) maybe this will become famous too.

This is based on a very famous K soap
1.Naina-The matriarch, she wears her hair up in a funny bun.
2.Angad-son of Naina, a rock star, who cannot dance., the male lead.
3.Kripa-She lives in Angad’s outhouse, sings opposite him and is the female lead.
4.Mishti- Angad’s family friend, Naina wants Angad to marry Mishti as she is rich.
5.Dadi-Naina’s MIL,
6.Kartik-Older son of Naina, jealous of Angad’s fame.
7.Anitaah-Angad’s cousin
8.Harshini-Kripa’s childhood friend, who hates Kripa these days.
9.Prithvi-Mishti’s brother, in love with Kripa

Naina In The Bun
(Inspired by The Cat in the Hat –By Dr.Seuss)

The sun did not shine.
It was too dark to see.
So we sat in the outhouse.
The power was out, you see.

I snuggled there with Kripa.
We kissed there, we two.
And I said, ”How I wish,
We had something to do!”


Too dark to dance a zig.
Too silent to break into a song.
So we snuggled in the outhouse.
And we did DING DONG!


So all we could do was to
DING!
DONG!
DING!
DONG!
And we liked it so much.
That we broke into a song.


KNOCK!
And then there was a knock!
How that knock made us go in a shock!
We looked!
Then we saw the BUN!
We LOOKED!
And we saw HER!
My mom NAINA IN HER BUN!
And she said to us,
“HOW DARE YOU TWO HAVE FUN!”


“I know you were having fun.
With your sweet little honey.
But we can’t do that ,
As we need lots of MONEY!”


“I know someone with lots of dough,”
Said my mom Naina the Hun.
“I know some new tricks”
Said Naina in her Bun.
“A lot of good tricks,
To get you this new honey,
This new honey of yours,
With lots of money.”


Then Kripa and I,
Did not know what to do.
Our Dadi was out of town.
Bothered by Naina’s hairdo.


But my sis Aaliyah said “No! No!
Make that Naina Masi go!
Tell that Naina in the Bun,
You do not want any dough!
She should not be here,
In your sweet little mush room.
She should not be here,
When your romance is in full bloom!”


“Now! Now! Have no fear.
Have no fear!” said Naina.
“My tricks are not bad.
I will not turn you into a Maina.
Why, we can have.
Lots of dough, if you chose.
With a game that I call,
“The Trapping of Mishti Bose.”


“Trapping of Mishti Bose!” said Aaliyah.
“This will not work at all!
“Trapping of Mishti Bose!” said my cousin,
“Do you wish to bring our downfall?”


“Have no fear,” said my Mom.
“I will not let the plan fail.
I will set Angad as a bait,
To trap that big Mishti whale.”


“Me as a BAIT!” said I,
“This is no fun at all.”
“When I have Kripa with me,
Why do I need Mishti the boar, after all.”


“How can you say that?” said Mom,
“Mishti is not a boar,
“How can you not marry her?
She has agreed to pay 45 crores.”


“WOW, 45 CRORES!” said I,
“That’s a lot of dough!
But can you tell me,
Why so much money do I owe?”


“That’s a long story”
Said Naina in her Bun.
“When you were having fun,
With your sweet little honey.
Boski came and sued us,
For all this money.”


“I have no fear,” thought my mom,
“I have some tricks of my own.
I will not let this Kripa,
This honey of yours, bring us down.
As I stand in my Satrangi living room.
With this MMS on my phone.
I have a plan now.
To bring Kripa down.”


“Look at me now!” said Naina the Hun,
“With this trick of emotional blackmail.
I can drag my son to Goa.
And he will follow me like a tail.”


But that is not all!
Oh, no.
That is not all…
“Look at me!
Look at me!
Look at me now!
I can still hook up Angad and Mishti,
Without Angad finding out anyhow.


“I should strike when the iron is hot.
And sweet talk Mishti in tying the knot
I can send Mishti to Goa and Lukhnow.
To accompany Angad who is practicing Twae-kwan-do.
I will trap Angad into marrying Mishti the Mose(In Bengali means buffalo).
So that he can stop tasting mangoes from Kripa’s nose.”


“I can pretend to faint.
For our big financial loss.
I can make my son guilty,
To show him who is the boss.”


“I can drag him to the Bose House.
For Mishti’s birthday by the pool.
And if he wants to bring Kripa along,
I can tell him,” That’s not cool!”


This is what my mom planned,
For her big financial gain.
But she has not anticipated,
That her plan would go down the drain.


Mishti was in Goa with us,
To supervise our video shoot, you see.
She was in for a surprise,
When see saw me necking Kripa by the sea.


She did not like it,
Me necking Kripa by the sea,
She kept thinking,
“What is happening to me?”
“Why am I falling apart?
By seeing them so close?
I want my Angad back,
After all I AM MISHTI BOSE!”


We did not know what was going on
In fat Mishti’s head.
Kripa and I were too busy,
In painting Goa red.


But Mishti was hatching plans to be Mrs.Angad Khanna,
She did not want her plans to fail.
She started thinking along the lines,
Of Naina in the Bun, her would be M-I-L.


She knew I was sick,
And had to get back home at the earliest.
She booked Kripa in a late flight.
So that she could break our love nest.


She charged into Khanna House,
All fuming and hot.
She said to my Mom, “Do I like this?
Oh, no! I do not.
You know your son Angad,
Was having fun with his sweet little hun.
Why did you drag me into this?
You ,Naina in the Bun!”


“I do not like it ,
Not one little bit.
I will get back my Angad,
I am not a nitwit.
I will get back my Angad,
Coz I am smart and funny,
And on top of that,
I have all this money”


“Oh, I like what I hear,
Let that Kripa rot in hell!”
Said the Naina in the Bun
To her would be D-I-L.
“ I can help you with this,
I do not wish you to go!
And so,” said Naina in the Bun,
“So
so
So……
I will show you
Another good trick that I know!”


And then she went in.
Glaring at her henpecked spouse.
My mom Naina in the Bun
Came back with the Fox and the Mouse. (Kartik and Harshini)


They were followed by the fat gorilla,
That Anitaah- the crook.
“Now look at this trick,”
Said my mom, ”Take a look!”


Then she sat down,
On her parrot green couch.
To match her parrot green sari.
And her parrot green blouse.


She looked at everyone
With her heavily made up eyes.
Said Naina in the Bun
“I have a big surprise”


“Let us break up these lovebirds,
Before their romance is known,
With a trick that I call
KILLING-TWO-BIRDS-WITH ONE-STONE”


“I have a master game plan,
That will not need a knife,
To separate that poor Kripa from,
Your darling Angad’s life.”


“I will tell you what the plan is,
To make Angad your spouse,
For that I will need this group of three,
The Gorilla, The Fox and The Mouse.”


This three will help us,
In executing my plan, you see.
Don’t underestimate them by their looks,
They are very smart, this cunning group of three.


That fat chimp is very shrewd,
A lot of smart ideas she knows,
Though she may look like a fashion faux pas,
Trying to fit her size 20 body into size 4 clothes.


And oh the Fox!
The cunning, cunning fox,
What do I say about this child of mine?
He is as smart as me, you see,
After all, he is my own design.


And the mouse,
Don’t underestimate the mouse.
She is the big traitor,
Of our cute enemy in the outhouse.


So Mishti the whale was not sure,
If she should shake hands with these three.
She wanted her Angad back.
After all, SHE WAS MISHTI BOSE, you see.


She shook hands with the trio,
But her bro Prithvi said “No! No!
I can’t let the terrible trio hurt my darling,
Don’t join hands with them! Make them go!


“You should not be in cahoots with them,
When your brother is not!
Even though Kripa is not in love with me!
Don’t know why she finds Angad so hot”


“ I too have muscles like him,
And I am also a gana gane wala,
Though Angad may be a rockstar,
He still needs the voice of Kunal Ganjawala!”


“Have no fear, big bro,”
Said the big Mishti Whale.
“When Angad ditches Kripa,
On your shoulders she will wail!
Let us use this terrible trio,
I know they are smart,
And devious and cunning,
They will help us get back our sweethearts.”


So the trio started their game
Of ruining our love story.
They sent the mouse to Kripa.
To narrate her fake sob story.


Said the mouse “I was sad and gloomy
And I had my own doubts,
On why Prithvi chose you.
Over my pretty snout.


So I looked for you in Khanna House.
And cried on the shoulders of the foxy chap.
But somehow we ended up doing DING DONG,
While someone clicked our snaps.


Now this someone is blackmailing me
To shed twenty five lakhs,
Oh from where will I get that money!
Oh I want those pictures back!”


As you know my darling Kripa,
She would protect her friend,
“I can help you”, said she,
“But I don’t have that money to lend”


“Let us call the foxy chap,
And ask him for the money,
We will get you out of this soup
Don’t you worry, dear Harshini”


Thus my Mom started the game
After all, She was an EVIL THINKER
And my darling fell for it.
All hook line and sinker.


So she said to the sneaky fox
“How dare you do DING DONG?
Without falling in love,
Don’t you know its just wrong”


The Fox gave her a smirk,
And agreed to give her the dough
And while he was signing the check,
Our Chimp taped the video


And what happened next,
If you would like to find out
Any K soap on the horizon
Is all you have to check out.

2 comments:

Unknown said...

hey tishmish:) liked the ding dong a lot...lolzzz.

seriously yaar, enjoyed reading ur blog:)

tc-gauri

Cee Kay said...

Hay! NOT fair!! You led me through this juicy story and didn't tell me the end :( WAAAAAAAAIL!!

I liked this! And really - with my attention span like a two year old's, I think it was a big accomplishment for this post to keep m ehooked till the end. Loved it!

Thanks for sharing the link. Am checking all of it out.